Kyle Gallner

If you're not a horror fan, you probably don't know who Kyle Gallner is. Luckily, I am a huge horror fan and I can fill you in.

I really don't know anything about Kyle Gallner other than the fact that he is from Pennsylvania, but I do know that when he's in a movie, looking at him is my favorite part.

Many women may not agree with me, because he's not particularly special looking and he always looks like someone killed his puppy, but I found someone who agrees with me, and they made this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpt8P7MQmug

Kyle Gallner is one of the best actors to happen to horror movies in a long time. He's funny, great at acting, cute, and kinda looks like he might be dying already.

Since I know absolutely nothing about him, I suppose I will just talk about how dang cute he is.

Point #1: He can pull off wearing a speedo and goggles in a cold, abandoned factory. I don't know why anyone else would try to pull that off, but I doubt they could.

Point #2: In Haunting in Connecticut, he made cancer look pretty sexy. How often does that happen?

Point #3: He pulled off the goth look in Jennifer's Body, which I normally find pretty revolting, even on the cutest of men.

Point made. Anyway, just go check him out already.

Aziz Ansari

If you don't know who Aziz Ansari is, you should learn, and quickly. He's one of the funniest people I am aware of.

Reasons to love Aziz:

-The way he talks could make even the most mundane things sound hysterical.

-He makes Parks and Rec hilarious as Tom Haverford. The show would not be the same without him.

-His twitter is hilarious. He's my favorite person that I'm following. He can just be tweeting about watching Twilight but it still makes me laugh out loud because I can picture him saying the things like "Damn that one lady vampire got WAAAAY too pissed about Bella already having eaten. Chill the fuck out girl!"

-He has ridiculous cousins, Darwish and Harris, and seems to enjoy tormenting them :]

-Aziz is adorable, I mean, come on.

-His comedy isn't usually racial or dirty, unless he's playing the character Randy.

-He beat Spock in a ping pong tournament :]

-Entertainment centers are a dangerous place where he gets trapped

Okay, he's hosting the MTV movie awards this year, so check him out! You'll laugh your ass off!

Benjamin Linus

Reasons to love Benjamin Linus:

-I know I'm not the only one who thinks he's sexy, even if I'm the only one who will admit it.

-He's gotta be the most beaten character in television history. Practically ever other character has beaten him at least once.

-He's attracted to women who are smart, but not very good socially, which kinda fits me.

-Okay, he's hilarious. Let's give it up for Ben. One of my favorite scenes of the show is when Ben is captured by Locke and Locke gives him rabbit for dinner, and Ben asks, "did this have a number on it?"

-He knows a crapload about the island and could finally answer some of my questions.

-Ben is a compulsive liar, but any time he gives "his word", he holds to it, no matter what.

-He has secret rooms in his secret rooms.

A funny, sexy badass? There's nothing better.

Daniel Faraday

Reasons for loving Daniel Faraday (Lost spoilers to follow):

-He can work a skinny tie like no other.

-In his spare time, he plays the piano.

-He's got a very sweet, whispery voice.

-He's a genius.

Possible Deal Breaker:

-His parents. They are scary. And they are very judgmental of the mates their children choose. I wouldn't want to mess with Eloise Hawking or Charles Widmore. It might not be worth it.


If Charles and Eloise approved, I could be Daniel's constant.

Richard Alpert

Reasons to end up with Richard (Lost spoilers ahead):

-He looks pretty damn good for being like 300 years old.

-His eyelashes are so goshdarn pretty that even though he puts concealer on them to make them less obnoxious, it still always looks like he's wearing eyeliner and mascara.

-He could probably explain a lot of the island's mysteries to me

-Despite being trapped on an island for close to 300 years, he still seems to be up to date on pop culture, which would be important if dating me.

-He really pulls off the khaki button-down look.

Miles Straume

Reasons to love Miles (there are some serious Lost spoilers ahead):

-His dad is Pierre Chang, the awesome DHARMA video guy

-He's grouchy and sarcastic, some of my favorite qualitites

-He can speak to the dead (sort of)

-He'd likely be a multi-millionaire after leaving the island since he stole Nikki and Paulo's diamonds. (I certainly don't need a guy to have a money, but it never hurts!)

-He's very handy with duct tape.

-In his version of heaven/purgatory, he's a cop. So he likes rules, which I am obsessed with. I've maybe broken 2 rules in my whole life and that could be an over-estimate.

-He was born on the island, which is awesome. We could maybe go on vacation there and visit Smokey and the polar bears.

-The gray in his hair is super sexy!
Sidebar: Dear men, it is unfair that gray hair makes you sexier. Women with gray hair tend to look old and tired. Not cool.

-He has never taken off his watch, as far as we know, so he's probably pretty punctual. People who aren't are a pet peeve of mine.

-He gives people nicknames, just like Sawyer, which is a charming quality.

-He seems to understand the time travel on the island, so maybe he could explain it to me!

I'd be stuck on the island with this curmudgeon anytime!

Dominic Monaghan

I've been really busy these last few days, so I haven't updated. But as a special treat (to all 2 of my readers) I'm going to do a series today. In honor of the finale of Lost (which left me devastated), I will be doing people/characters from that show that I would love to marry.

Reasons to love Dominic Monaghan:

-Has a completely charming accent that melts my heart

-Kept a pair of his hobbit feet from LOTR (one of my faves)

-Writes on his hands, just like Charlie, and just like me.

-Is one of the most charming characters on Lost

-Obsessed with video games

-Good at impressions


Possible Deal Breaker:

- LOVES bugs. Seeing as I am completely terrified of bugs, that might be a deal breaker.

Will Forte

I meant to put this post up yesterday in honor of the opening of MacGruber, but I didn't get around to it.

There are many reasons to love Will Forte, here are some:

-His real first name is Orville

-He wrote and starred in "The Brothers Solomon", which is hilarious and a fantastic movie, even though it's stupid.

-He is willing to do anything to make people laugh, including making himself look ridiculous, which I find incredibly sexy. For example, his guest spot on 30 rock, where he is playing a Jenna impersonator who is dating Jenna. See below.


-He also has these hilarious naked photos of MacGruber, which are fake, but still funny.
http://www.wwtdd.com/2010/05/macgruber-was-a-good-naked-model/

-He can make up ridiculous songs on the spot and can sing them incredibly well.

Anyway, I'm sure MacGruber will be successful! Everyone go see it and support Orville Willis Forte IV.

HONORABLE MENTION: Matthew Ziegler

I am going to preface this entry by saying that I do not, in any way, want Matthew Ziegler. No offense to him, but that would be completely innappropriate seeing as he is family :]
Anyway, he deserves honorable mention as a nerdily sexy man.

Reasons he deserves this honorable mention:

-He's nerdy enough to have asked for it :]

-See above picture (enough said)

-He works with computers and is completely self taught.

-He's man enough to be comfortable in a tiny bee costume

-He can do a killer impression of Leonardo Dicaprio from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape"

-He sips on slurpees even while sleeping

-He wears Christmas sweaters and sweaters with dinosaurs cross-stitched on.

-Some of his Christmas gift requests he's made include: a tapir scarf and a meat man

Anyway, he deserves honorable mention because he's a great guy, he's a nerd, and he asked for it :]

Adam Goldberg

A BUFF JEW?! WHAT IS THIS? A buff jew who has tattoos, but still retains the most appealing jewish qualities: the thick dark facial hair, the complaining skills, the sense of humor, and the nose :]

Anyone that can play the hebrew hammer and still be incredibly sexy belongs on this list (see photo)


Okay, so if you haven't seen this movie, DVR it. It's about a jewish superhero known as The Hebrew Hammer who must save Hanukkah from the evil son of Santa who wants to destroy Hanukkah and make everyone celebrate Christmas.
Sounds great, right? No, not really. But somehow, (thanks to Adam) it's hilarious. Retarded, sure. But still hilarious.

It seems that he loves to complain (charmingly, I might add), and does it with that nasally voice that I find so irresistible. Seeing as complaining is in my top 5 favorite hobbies, I think we could enjoy each others company, bitching about everybody else together.

He's very funny. His roles in The Unusuals and Friends (and others) show he can be very entertaining, even if he's playing a crazy person or someone dying of cancer.

In a perfect world, my name would be tattooed somewhere on that body.